


To Build a Home

by wakeupstiles



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Raven Reyes, Blood, Building Relationship, Building trust, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, Lexa is Alive, Multi, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, POV Raven Reyes, Raven Reyes-centric, Slow Burn, like clexa linctavia memori etc, past raven/gina, so is anya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-26 15:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6245779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakeupstiles/pseuds/wakeupstiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arkadia was never home. They used her until she had nothing left to give, then they used her some more. So, finally, she decided to go. She left with nothing but a backpack full of supplies, a few weapons, and enough food to last her a week. She didn’t know if she could survive on her own, especially in her condition, but dying in the wild was better than living in a prison.</p><p>Except that she doesn't die. After a violent wolf attack, she's saved by King Roan of Azgeda and brought back to his home so that she can heal properly. She's weary and untrusting at first, but as the weeks pass and she spends more time with the Ice People, she realizes that they are not as ruthless and heartless as others make them out to be.</p><p>
  <b>HIATUS DUE TO WRITER'S BLOCK</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hunter or Hunted

**Author's Note:**

> **Important info:**  
>  -ALIE doesn't exist for the sake of the story  
> -Thus the City of Light is not real  
> -Pike is still in charge at Arkadia but that gets handled  
> -Lexa is alive bc hello  
> -Anya is alive bc duh  
> -Pretend everything that happened after the Clexa scene in 3.07 doesn't exist  
> -Lincoln is not trapped in Arkadia; he fled with Octavia and now resides in Polis with her
> 
> i don't know how many chapters this is going to be, we'll just have to see how it goes.
> 
> minor couples include:  
> clexa, linctavia, memori, minty, kabby, and ontari x echo

She was going to die.

Oh, she was going to _fucking die._

Leaving the gates of Arkadia had not been her best idea. She’d had a lot of bad ideas in her short life, though she would never admit to them, but going out into the wild with nothing more than a few weapons and a bum leg was probably the _worst_ idea she’d ever had. Worse than taking an illegal Spacewalk. But, as much as it was a horrible idea, it was the only choice she had; she couldn’t stay in that camp anymore. She could pull herself together after Finn’s death, she could get over Clarke’s betrayal, she could ignore Abby’s annoying nagging, she could even put up with Bellamy being a dick and Pike being a fascist asshole, but what she couldn’t handle was walking through that camp every goddamn day and being reminded of _her._

Gina, the one who helped Raven pull herself together after she thought she’d been torn apart for good. Gina, who lit up her world when she never thought she’d see the light again. Gina, who’s laugh was sweeter than honey. Gina, who’s curly hair stuck out in every direction in the morning and even more so after they _slept._ Gina, who died in Mount Weather trying to save everyone.

_Gina. Gina. Gina._

After her death Raven just couldn’t take it. She tried, but everything reminded her of the beautiful woman. The bar she worked at, their bed she slept in, the mess hall where they met. Everything was her. Everything was a constant reminder that she couldn’t save her. That she died because Raven was too slow and because she shouldn’t have been alone.

_She shouldn’t have been alone._

So she did the only thing she knew how to do: she ran. With nothing but a backpack slung across her shoulders and enough food to last her a week, she stumbled through the woods, maneuvering past dangerous animals and keeping clear of any Grounders who looked like they posed a threat—but let’s be real: _all_ Grounders were a threat. Out in the trees she had nothing to defend herself with other than two hand guns and a few daggers. Sure she could find supplies to make something, but it would take a while and she doubted she would have that time. _Yes Ms. Grounder, just pause from killing me for twenty minutes while I make this organic bomb. Thanks, you’re so sweet._

_Yeah, not going to happen._

So, back to the beginning, _she was about to fucking die._

She ran as fast as she could but the damn brace attached to her leg slowed her down immensely. She was the fastest runner on the Ark, arguably the most athletic in her class, but on the ground all she had to rely on was her mind. Which was brilliant, of course, and it could virtually get her out of any mess, but not this time. Oh, not this time.

She remembered studying the creature in Earth Studies class up in space. A wolf, related to the dog, one of the fiercest predators in the world. It was chasing her. And it was going to kill her. She tried to pick up speed but her foot got caught in a small hole, causing her ankle to twist and her body to land in an uncomfortable angle on the rough ground. She bit her tongue to keep from crying out and twisted around, trying to free her foot. The animal was catching up. She tried to maneuver herself out as best she could but once her ankle was free her brace snapped off, rendering her left leg useless. She didn’t have enough time to fasten it back on, either. The wolf was a few feet in front of her now, baring its teeth, a deep, hungry growl rumbling from its throat.

_Oh, float me._ She thought, grabbing the small dagger from her pocket and holding it firmly despite her shaking hand. The animal leapt on her. She held her arm up in front of her face as a shield and it sunk its teeth into her soft flesh, locking its jaw. That time she did cry out, but the animal refused to let go. Its long claws dug into her sides and she felt the blood gushing from the deep wounds. She used her free hand to stab the wolf several times but that only seemed to piss it off even more rather than slow it down. The large beast shook its head a few times, tearing the skin of her arm in the process. She screamed out again. Now it was just playing with her.

With her good leg she kneed it in the stomach and it wavered slightly, whining as it kept hold of her arm. She stabbed it once more, then it let go of her arm and clawed at her face, which she was able to dodge by quickly rolling to the right. The wolf growled again, then sunk its teeth in her bad leg and began to drag her. Luckily she didn’t feel that one much. She chuckled darkly under her breath, twisted it the demon’s grasp until it was forced to let go, then swung the knife up as it attempted to jump on her again. Once it was in range she jabbed the blade into its neck and sliced to the right until the animal was on top of her, not moving.

She breathed deeply, trying to slow her heart rate and not freak out over the fact that she had blood all over her or that even though she’d won the fight she was probably going to die from blood loss and an infection from all the large, gaping wounds.

“Perfect,” She mumbled, pushing the carcass off of her and then freezing at the sound of a low growl coming from the bush to the left of her. She turned her head, blinking slowly, heart stopping as she saw another wolf emerge from the green bush.

_Wolves always traveled in packs._ She remembered, only it was too late. Sure she was able to take down one, but just barely; there was no way she’d be able to take down another one, or however many more were waiting for her. “Well, come on, then.” She taunted at the animal, accepting her fate. She’d begun to feel light headed, anyway, so maybe she’d be dead before the animal got the chance to rip her to shreds.

_A girl could only dream._

She closed her eyes as the wolf advanced her, but after a few seconds of nothing, she peaked through one eye to see the animal dead in front of her, an arrow sticking out of its side, its eyes wide and vacant staring up at her. She looked up and saw a man standing a little ways away, holding a bow in his hand. He was a Grounder, no doubt, and he was beautiful. Not the worst last thing to see before she died. Maybe she’d stop breathing before he put an arrow through her, too.

He took a step towards her and she blacked out.

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing she noticed when she woke up was that she wasn’t dead. The second was that the Grounder from earlier was sitting in front of her, picking at his nails with a knife. _Her knife._ She shot up, ignoring the pain that coursed through her whole body, and glared at him. If looks could kill he would have been dead.

He watched her silently; his ice blue eyes piercing right threw her. If she wasn’t so pissed she would have felt overexposed. She looked around, noticed that her backpack and weapons were lying under a tree a few feet away, along with her brace. No matter—if she needed to attack she’d just jump on him. Sure she was wounded but she could still fight; adrenalin was a wonderful thing.

But he didn’t attack her; instead he did something she never would have expected: he held the knife out to her. Her eyes shifted from him to the knife, skeptical if it was a genuine offer or not. Seconds passed and he didn’t withdraw his hand, so she gingerly reached out and snatched the blade from his palm. Still, he said nothing.

After a few moments of nothing but the fire crackling between them, she asked, “So, do you have a name?”

“Roan,” He answered.

She leaned up farther, holding the blade steady in her hand, ready to attack if he made the wrong move. “Roan of…?”

He looked her in the eyes and answered, “Roan of Azgeda.”

And she jumped on him. They toppled to the ground, her straddling him, the blade pressed to his throat. Tears stung her eyes and fury swept through her like wild fire. “My girlfriend is dead because of you.” She hissed darkly. He made no attempt to defend himself, just stared at her with those understanding blue eyes. And that pissed her off even more. She pressed the knife deeper against his skin, though didn’t draw blood. She wondered why she was hesitating, hated herself for it.

“My mother sent the attack on Mount Weather, not me.” He mumbled, his raspy voice low yet clear. She didn’t waver. “My mother killed your girlfriend, not me.” He added.

“Is that supposed to make a difference?” She spat, not moving the knife or from her position on top of him.

He cocked an eyebrow and from the firelight she could see amusement dance in his bright eyes. She wondered if he was used to having a knife pressed against his throat. “You would kill an innocent man for revenge?”

She shrugged. “Why not?”

Roan narrowed his eyes slightly. “I am not my mother.” Was his only argument. She considered this, and somehow it worked because she relaxed a little, removed the knife from his throat, and slung herself off of him. She sat beside the man, a fair amount of distance between them, the knife still in her hand _just in case._ Thought she knew, something whispered to her in the back of her mind, that she wouldn’t need it. He posed no threat to her and somehow that scared her even more.

“What’s the damage?” She asked a few minutes later, referring to the wounds the wolf had so kindly given her.

He side eyed her as he spoke. “You lost a fair amount of blood but you will heal. There will be a lot of scarring,” She instinctively touched her leg and he looked away. “But you will live.”

“How did you stop the bleeding?” Blood shone through the bandages wrapped around her arm and leg but for the most part she could tell the majority of the bleeding had stopped a while ago. “And how the hell am I not in more pain?” Raven looked up at him, her brows knitted together in confusion.

He smiled faintly. “There’s healing seaweed in the river. I broke it up and packed it in the wounds. You were out when I did, which is a good thing because it burns like hell for the first few minutes but it reduces pain and controls bleeding.” He stood and she watched his every move carefully. He went over to his bag, pulled out a leather flask, then plopped back down beside her, keeping the same distance between them as before. He held the flask out to her and she shifted away, giving him a questioning and untrusting look. “It’s just water.” He sighed.

Raven rolled her eyes, took the flask, slowly took a few sips. It was cold and refreshing as it splashed down her dry throat. “Thanks,” She muttered, handing the flask back. Exhaustion swept through her and her eyes began to sting from lack of sleep. She wanted to lie down and drift off but she didn’t trust Roan. He may have saved her life and he may have talked his way out of getting his throat slashed, but that didn’t mean she trusted him.

“You should sleep.” He interrupted her dark thoughts of revenge.

“Why, so you can kill me?” She snapped.

He chuckled lowly. “If I wanted you dead I wouldn’t have saved you.” He pointed out.

She rolled her eyes, gave into the tiredness and unwillingly lay down, though she never let go of the knife. “I saved myself.” She scoffed.

“Of course you did.” He agreed, no trace of condescendence in his tone.

She sighed contently, began drifting off. “I hate you.” She grumbled drowsily.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” She heard him whisper before sleep consumed her.

If she didn’t wake up in the morning she would be okay with that.


	2. Kingly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She believed him and she didn’t know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize in advance if there are any spelling errors

She woke up screaming. Somewhat due to the nightmare she’d had but mostly due to the pain that was flowing through her body. Her leg, her arm, her torso, all on fire with a pain that she couldn’t describe; it was like she was being burned from the inside out, but more brutal, if there was such a thing. She tried to sit up, grabbed at the dirt and grass for stability, but her body wouldn’t cooperate. All Raven could do was lie there, bite her tongue, and scream through her teeth.

Roan was on his knees beside her in an instant, tearing at the bandages around her arm. “The seaweed has dried up. I’m going to have to pack more in the wounds.” He explained. If she didn’t feel like she was dying she would have kicked him in chest or scratched at his face. She didn’t want him touching her, but right now she didn’t have a choice—and she would gladly accept the help.

“Do it.” She gritted her teeth, tore at the inside of her mouth to keep from screaming again. If there were any threats nearby she didn’t want to draw them in. Though the sun was nearly up so if there were animals or people roaming around they would surely see them.

“I don’t think you understand, I—“

“I can handle it.” She affirmed, squeezing her eyes shut and seeing colorful dots in the darkness. And she could; she’d been through much worse.

He didn’t hesitate after that; he dug his fingers into the wounds, scooping out the useless dried seaweed and then packing fresh in. The pain lessened for a few seconds, and in that time she felt as if she was soaring through the sky. She wondered if a side effect of the seaweed was getting high. The moment of relief was over just as fast as it had begun and suddenly agony raged through her arm. Having her leg drilled into by the Mountain Men hurt less than this. Quiet be damned, she opened her mouth and a loud, ragged shriek filled the air, shaking the trees and disturbing the birds.

After all the plant was packed into her gashes and her screaming stopped, Roan rewrapped her arm and then went down to her leg. At least she didn’t feel that one much. “You’re going to have to take your shirt off.” He said, motioning to her upper torso where the wolf had dug its claws in there and torn at the fragile skin. With a grunt Raven lifted her arms and pulled the shirt over her head, shoved it inside her mouth so that this time when she screamed it would be muffled. Roan did his best to not stare at her chest as he rewrapped the gashes. She would give him credit for that, because she was sure that if he was shirtless she wouldn’t be able to stop staring at those rock hard abs his flimsy shirt outlined.

Hey, she may have hated him, but she wasn’t blind. And it was a nice distraction while her skin felt like it was melting off.

Once he was done and her shirt was back on, he grabbed his flask and walked a little ways down to the river to refill it. Raven was breathing heavily and exhausted, wanting nothing more than to let the darkness take her, but now was her chance; she rolled over, crawled a few inches to the tree across from her. She fished through her backpack for her pistol, cocked it back, and pointed it right at Roan’s head.

Hearing the gun load, he turned back towards her, his eyebrows raised and a little amused smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You’re going to shoot the man who keeps helping you?” He questioned, his tone light.

She kept her hand steady, kept the gun pointed right between his eyes. “Why the hell are you helping me? What do you want?”

“Nothing.” He answered.

Raven let out a little laugh. “Everybody wants something.”

The man shrugged, walked back towards her. “I don’t want anything.”

“You know I’m Skaikru.” She pointed out.

“I do.” He nodded.

“Then what do you want?” She could have screamed. What game was he playing?

“Nothing.” He repeated.

“Bullshit!” The brunette shouted in frustration, shaking the gun but careful to not pull the trigger. She had to get answers out of him before she killed him.

His aloof demeanor never changed as he began packing his bag. “Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

She nearly burst into hysterical laughter—or crying, whichever came first. “You wouldn’t have saved my life if you didn’t want anything. You’re _Azgeda._ ” She said the word like it was venom on her tongue. His people were the reason Gina was dead. His mother was the reason her girlfriend was gone. She could never forgive that. _“What do you want?”_

He looked down at her, their eyes locking. “I want for you to not point that gun at me.” He was in front of her now, bent down at eye level. She touched the gun right to his heart, finger trembling on the trigger. Raven’s eyes were wide, disbelief pulsing through her that he would just willingly allow someone to hold a loaded gun right at him and not do anything about it. But then again, he did let her hold a knife to his throat. Maybe he was just crazy. “If you’re going to continue to point that at me, then shoot me.” He dared, eyes never wavering from hers. With him this close, and her not distracted by the pain, she could really see the designs of the scarring on his face. Had they been under different circumstances she would have admitted that looked beautiful, but as it was they weren’t and she would keep that to herself indefinitely.

Despite wanting to look away, she kept her gaze locked with his. She hesitated, holding her breath, wondering why the hell she couldn’t do it. He was right there. The gun was loaded. She had enough rage inside her to do it. Revenge was _right there._ But she couldn’t do it and she didn’t know why and that pissed her off most of all.

 _Oh, fucking hell._ She thought, and then with a frustrated sigh and a heavy roll of her eyes she dropped the gun from his chest and slipped it in the back waistband of her pants. Roan gave her a little smile, his eyes soft yet never giving anything away. Satisfied, he stood and handed Raven her backpack and brace.

She ruefully took the brace and began fastening it on her leg. “I don’t remember being close to a river last night.” She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he continued to pack his things and slip on a heavy jacket.

“We weren’t; you were unconscious when I moved us at dawn.” He explained.

“Are you kidnapping me or something?” The thought of it almost made her giggle. Would her people come after her? Would they make a deal to get her back? Would they care? Had they even noticed that she was gone?

He gave a little laugh. “You can go if you wish, but with those injuries you won’t survive without medication. And you’re in no position to hunt for food so you’ll probably starve to death.” He pointed out, a little too cheerfully. She narrowed her eyes at him. He waved his hand out to the vast trees and added, “But go ahead, you are free to leave.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” She grumbled, grabbing hold of the tree beside her and leaning onto it for support as she stood. With the seaweed dulling her pain she would be able to walk, so that was a relief.

Roan gave a small shrug. “I’m just being truthful.”

She waited a few seconds before she asked, “If I stay what happens?”

He looked at her then, taken aback by the question but not letting it show too much. “I take you back to Azgeda and you heal.”

“You mother killed my girlfriend.” She repeated, her heart hurting as she thought of Gina.

“My mother is dead.” He countered, his gaze going hard as he thought of the woman.

Raven’s eyebrows shot up. “Is she?” She did little to hide the curiosity and surprise in her voice. Roan didn’t even flinch.

He nodded, slung his bag over his right shoulder and his bow over the left. “The Commander killed her and spared my life. I am now the King of Azgeda.”

“And what of your stance with Skaikru?” She pressed.

He cocked his head to the side, considered his words before he spoke them. “That was my mother’s war, not mine. As long as they do not try to move against my people then I have no reason to attack them.”

“So, what, you’re the opposite of your mother?” She bent down, cursed under her breath at the ache that went through her sides, and slung her backpack over her shoulders. She kicked around the leaves she fell asleep on in search of the dagger she slept with. She huffed and held her breath as she bent down to pick it up, thankful when it didn’t hurt too badly.

“I am not my mother.” He vowed with force, blue eyes frosting over.

“Obviously, or you would have killed me by now.” She grumbled, not looking at him as she fixed the brace and made sure her weapons were hidden well enough.

“Obviously.” He muttered back. For a King he didn’t act very kingly.

Raven grew quiet, weighing her options. She could shoot him and run. She could slit his throat and run, too. But if she couldn’t do it before what made her think that she could do it now? Her fists clenched and unclenched, her lip beginning to bleed due to biting it too hard and pealing at the skin. It was true what he said: if she were to go on her own she wouldn’t last very long. Not with her injuries and not with Grounders and wolves—and whatever else—out there waiting for her.

Just as she was about to speak, a howl broke through the silence and she jumped. She darted her eyes and head around, pulled the gun from her pants, trying to find the bastard wolf. Roan had an arrow in his bow at the ready, but minutes passed and the animal didn’t attack. Raven exhaled deeply, began slowing her heart rate. “There weren’t any wolves close to Arkadia.”

“You’re closer to the Azgeda border; the wolves love the cold.” The man explained, putting his bow back over his shoulder.

She kicked at the dirt, shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “I guess I owe you a thank you.”

“I was just doing what was right.” He noted, like any Grounder would have done the same for her. She liked to think they would but she they wouldn’t. So why him? Why did he save her? Surely he wanted something, despite claiming he didn’t. As much as she wanted to press the issue, she laid it to rest for now because she knew that she would get nowhere like she did earlier.

So instead she said the only thing she knew to say. “Well, thank you.” Though she wasn’t sure if she meant it. Her life had almost ended countless times before; this was just another notch in her belt. She wasn’t sure if she wanted it, though. Maybe she wanted that wolf to eat her. Maybe she wanted it all to end. Maybe she wanted to be with Gina.

“Does that mean you’ll be accompanying me to Azgeda?” Roan questioned in wonder.

She raised an eyebrow. “Why should I trust you?”

Roan looked at her, ran his hands through his half braided half down brown hair, said truthfully, “You shouldn’t. You just have to believe me when I say I won’t kill you.” And he sounded sincere, which only raised her suspicion further.

“Why should I believe you?” She questioned, not meeting his hard gaze.

He gave a little smirk, shook his head slightly. “You shouldn’t.”

But that was the thing: she did. She believed him. And she trusted him somewhat, but not fully. She didn’t know why and it pissed her the hell off, but she did. He saved her life, gave her the chance to kill him twice without fighting back. Maybe that was his game, though; maybe he knew she couldn’t do it and was just humoring her. Maybe he was leading her into a trap; the moment she stepped foot into his kingdom he was going to have her arrested and executed.

But maybe he wasn’t.

She looked up at him, dark brown eyes meeting light blue, and the suspicion lessened about half way. “So, how far is the Ice Nation?”

He faced the water, said, “About forty more miles.”

She walked up to stand beside him, though he towered over her immensely. “Then we better get going.” And they did.

Yeah, maybe he wasn’t.


	3. Reivon kom Skaikru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azgeda was beautiful, she would freely admit to that. Its people were not as fearsome as she once imagined; children played joyfully in the streets, teenagers laughed around some tables and chairs, adults were welding, sewing, preparing dinner. It was…more than she imagined.

The trek to Azgeda was a long and tiring one, full of fallen trees, pot holes, more wolves (she fucking hated them), and scavengers. Roan was able to sweet talk his way out of the scavengers attacking the two of them. Though she was pretty sure if they had even attempted to raise their weapons Roan would have eliminated them with a flick of his wrist. It was also cold; the closer they got to the Ice Nation the colder it became. The jacket Raven had on was warm enough but she could stand for something thicker. She wouldn’t complain, though.

With the seaweed in her wounds she was fine to walk. She was slow, but the king never taunted her or offered to carry her, which she was thankful for. Her leg hurt, like it always did, but she silently handled it like she’s always done.

“What kind of king doesn’t bring a horse when he’s traveling?” She asked later that night after they’d made camp. They were sitting in front of each other, a decent sized fire between them. They only had a few more miles to Azgeda but traveling at night was not the brightest idea. Raven didn’t argue when he suggested that they make camp for the night; she was grateful to get off her leg and she was sure he knew that, too, by the sheer look of bliss that spread across her features when she sat down. But still he kept silent.

He passed her a piece of deer jerky, grumbled in that raspy voice she liked a little too much _(shut up, brain),_ “The kind that gives it to some starving orphans.”

She paused, her hand extended over the fire, reaching for the jerky. She shifted her head to the side, studying him. He wasn’t looking at her, which was surprising because _he was always looking at her._ Roan jiggled his hand and she snapped out of it, grabbed the jerky before her jacket sleeve caught on fire. “You’re serious.” She stated, just barely a whisper.

He gave a nod, still not looking at her. “Contrary to what you have heard and what you have seen, Ice People are not as heartless as everyone makes us out to be.”

She chewed slowly, considering his words. In his case maybe it was true, but as for everyone else? His people blew up Gina—blew up innocent civilians. In her eyes they were all monsters. And yet there she was, going to the monsters den. It even confused herself.

They were silent while they ate. The crackling fire and singing owls were somewhat of a lullaby to Raven; she’d never felt so calm in the time she’d been on the ground. It was odd, being at ease while a Grounder sat in front of her. A Grounder who was part of a murderous nation. A Grounder that could kill her swiftly, slowly, messily, whichever he preferred. But she wasn’t scared. She was content.

Then her limbs started burning. “Please tell me you have more of that magical seaweed.” She gasped, taking off her belt and shoving it in her mouth so that this time when she screamed she wouldn’t be so loud.

Roan said nothing as he moved beside her and began redressing her wounds. She silently thanked the radiation for genetically modifying the plant, because while it burned like a bitch when initially put in the gashes, its healing properties were phenomenal. She made a mental note that if she ever got her hands on a lab that she would test the shit out of that stuff to figure out how it worked.

It didn’t take so long that time, mostly because Raven did her best to restrain herself. Once the man was done, he sat beside her and leaned against the tree behind them instead of going back to his place on the other side of the fire. “How is it that you are able to withstand so much pain and still stand?” He wondered softly, keeping his eyes trained on the sky.

She sat up beside him, careful to leave enough space so that they weren’t touching. She side eyed him, curious as ever as to why he was so interested in her. She gave a little shrug, murmured, “Just because I’m not a warrior doesn’t mean I’m not strong.”

“That’s not what I said.” He remarked, returning her side eye.

Raven bit her lip, wondering if she should explain herself, concluded that it really didn’t matter either way. “I was shot in the back, that’s how I got this beautiful thing.” She started, patting the metal brace on her leg. He was quiet, listening tentatively. She went on, “The bullet was removed without anesthesia. I was awake the whole time. Then I was blown up trying to take down Mount Weather, they caught me and drilled holes in my bad leg. Then the Commander thought I poisoned her so she tied me to a post and ceremoniously tortured me. She and Indra got a few slices in before I was proven innocent.” She paused, took a deep breath as the events from a few weeks ago replayed in her head like a tragic movie. Her voice was softer this time, more resigned, “Then I was caught in the explosion outside of Mount Weather the second time. That one fucked up my leg even more. My psyche, too, but that’s a different story.” She ended with a humorless laugh.

“You’re stronger than you look.” He observed.

 _Then why do I always feel so weak?_ She thought somberly, tracing her fingers over her wrapped thigh, across her injured arm, around her aching ribs.

Finally, she mumbled, “Like I said: just because I’m not a warrior doesn’t mean that I’m not strong.”

“No. It does not.” He agreed, and gave her shoulder a quick pat before he stood and went back to his side of the fire. “I’ll stand watch. You sleep.” He took out a machete, placed his bow and arrows on his lap. She wondered how she hadn’t noticed the machete before but shrugged it off; he was a king, after all, he needed an abundance of weapons, though she was certain that he himself was the most dangerous weapon of all.

Raven nodded, then jammed her backpack under her head and turned away from him. It took a while for her to fall into sleep, but when she did she dreamt of blue eyes.

 

* * *

 

  
The next day they stood on a small mountain overlooking the wilderness. Azgeda waited for them patiently at the bottom. Raven could already make out the tall buildings and giant windmills that she was sure have never worked since the world blew to hell.

“Just a few more miles.” Roan announced as he began moving down the mountain.

Raven followed after him, reluctantly keeping a hand on the back of his shoulder, gripping his coat, so that she wouldn’t go tumbling down. Balance when wearing the brace was not a blessing. “Your people are going to kill me the second I step foot through their gates.” She stated, careful to dodge the large rocks that stood in her way.

The man turned his head back to her. “My people will not lay a hand on you.” He said sternly.

She arched a brow. “What makes you so sure?”

Raven could practically see his smirk as he spoke and that _pissed her off_ (technically _everything_ about him pissed her off, but whatever). “I am the king. They will do as I say.” From any other person she would have accused them of being full of themselves. But for him…it fit.

“They’ll think of you as a traitor, harboring a Sky Person.”

Roan stopped and turned to her, which caused her to bump into his back. She stepped away, letting go of his jacket and crossing her arms, because she didn’t know what else to do with them. He raised his hands then lowered them, which made her give him an odd look. He ignored it and said, “You are my guest. You will be treated as such. If someone so dare threaten you they will be executed.” She stared up at him, noticed that his eyes spoke the truth. He really wasn’t going to let harm come to her and she didn’t know why.

“Yeah, okay.” Then they started walking again.

 

* * *

 

  
The gates surrounding Azgeda were tall and intimidating; large, deadly spikes sat on the top of each pike. “This is not all of Azgeda.” He announced, looking up at the gates of his kingdom a bit dreamily.

“It’s not?” Raven did little to hide the surprise in her voice.

Roan shook his head. “This is just where most of the trade takes place and where I and my council live.” So that explained the evil looking gates. He turned to her with a half smile and she didn’t look away. “Once you are healed I could show you the various villages if you’d like.” The offer took her by surprise, which it really shouldn’t have because he’d been acting _gentlemanly_ the whole way to Azgeda.

She considered this, gave a little nod in agreement because _what could it hurt?_ “How large is Azgeda?”

His smile widened. “Vast.”

It didn’t take a genius to know that Roan loved his kingdom. She wondered if he loved it as much when his mother dictated it. Probably not.

All Roan had to do was raise a hand and the gates opened, giving way to a beautiful kingdom; the buildings in the front were small, like huts but made of faded red brick. The road leading in and then breaking off into different directions once inside the city was gravel and had a blanket of frost covering it. To the left, a little ways down there was a large building, about ten stories, which Raven assumed was Roan’s home due to it being the tallest place in the city. Surrounding it and all over the rest of the kingdom that she could see, were shorter buildings which she figured were homes and shops.

She stayed to his right as they entered Azgeda, silent as people began to surround them, eager to see their returned king and his unknown guest. Once they had a fair amount of people in the audience, Roan spoke, loud and commanding, _“Reivon kom Skaikru…”_

He lost her after that. Raven hadn’t been exposed enough to their language to know much. She never thought that she would need it. Octavia had tried to teach her before she herself left Arkadia, but Raven never really paid attention. She figured she’d be in Arkadia for the rest of what she assumed would be a short life. Oh how wrong she had been.

Though she didn’t understand what he was saying, the expressions on his people’s faces spoke volumes. Some looked angry while others remained neutral. A small percent stared at her with intrigue, like she was a science experiment they wanted to pick apart. She didn’t know if she should have felt creeped out or flattered. Once Roan was done speaking his people nodded and the crowd dispersed as they all went back to what they were doing before the two of them arrived.

Roan turned to her, motioning for her to follow him through the streets, but before she took a step an infuriated woman pushed her way through the lessening crowd, a look of rage consuming her features. The man sighed beside her, turned to the tan brunette woman and they began speaking. The Trigedasleng was fast and heated, their eyes darting from each other to Raven. The woman threw her hands up in the air several times and made snarling faces at the dark skinned woman. She watched with raised brows and a bud of anxiety blooming in the pit of her stomach. It was probably his girlfriend— _or wife_ —pissed that he’d brought home another woman. Raven knew that she would be undoubtedly jealous, too.

The argument lasted only a few moments before Roan lowered his voice and leaned in close to the other woman. Raven couldn’t hear what he said but there was no loss there. He leaned back once he was finished and the unnamed woman shot Raven a glare, gave her a snarl, then turned and stomped back the way she came.

With a heavy sigh Roan rejoined Raven, putting a hand on the middle of her back, began leading her towards his home. “My cousin.” He muttered, annoyance prominent in his tone.

Raven gave a small nod. “Ah,” For some reason the little knot that had been forming in her stomach disappeared and her heart did a little blip. She ignored what it meant. “She seems like a real nice person.”

Roan gave a low chuckle. “She’s… Ontari is stuck in the old ways, that is all.” His tone was sad, which only made her curiosity grow.

“Old ways?” She questioned, her brows furrowed.

He gave a stiff nod. “When my mother ruled she drilled it into everyone’s mind that if you were not Azgeda than you were the enemy. When the Sky People landed she made it her mission to destroy them. If you didn’t comply then you died. My mother ruled for a long time. Ontari, unfortunately, fell into her manipulation along with a great amount of others.” He explained, regret coming out with each word. She wanted to know why but thought it better if she didn’t ask. At least not right now.

“Most of my mother’s supporters are gone.” He continued. That made her feel a little better. “Do not worry, Lady Raven, Ontari will not harm you.” He promised and again, she believed him.

 _Lady Raven?_ She thought with a small smile. It felt weird to hear—yeah, she liked the sound of it, but it was such a formal, royal title for her. She wasn’t formal and she sure as hell wasn’t made to be royal, but somehow when he said it she believed the possibility was there.

Roan led her through the winding streets of the city, all the while being sure to keep close to her. She looked up at him from her peripheral vision, noticed that his brow was relax, his jaw a little slack, and his eyes soft. It was the most at ease that she’d ever seen him in their three days they’d been together. She thought it looked nice on him.

 _What the hell, Raven, stop._ She scolded herself, quickly adverting her eyes back to the scenery in front of her. Azgeda was beautiful, she would freely admit to that. Its people were not as fearsome as she once imagined; children played joyfully in the streets, teenagers laughed around some tables and chairs, adults were welding, sewing, preparing dinner. It was…more than she imagined.

They stopped in front of the stairs to the ten story building to be greeted by a small welcoming party. Looking at it now, she realized that ninety-seven years ago it was definitely an office building. She didn’t know what something as small as that could have been used for, though, because all the offices she saw in old pictures and documentaries had been exceedingly large.

Waiting for them were ten people. Seven women and three men, most of them looking bitter while one wore a smile. Raven refrained from speaking because she was pretty sure if she opened her mouth she would say something sarcastic and rude and she didn’t want to get her throat slit or take a dagger to the eye.

Roan cleared his throat, spoke authoritatively, _“Leidi Reivon…”_ And he lost her again, but she was pretty sure she knew the just of what he was saying: ‘Raven from Skaikru is my guest. She will be treated with respect. Do not harm her. Our qualms with the Sky People are null.’ At least, that’s what she hoped he was saying. For all she knew he could be telling them to kill her. She hoped if it was that then at least they would make it quick. But from the look on the young woman’s face that was standing to the far left in the group of people, the only one who had been smiling at her, Raven assumed it was the first one.

The girl was about Raven’s age, maybe a year or so older, and she was undoubtedly beautiful; black skin outlined with lighter shades of scarring, light topaz eyes, ink black hair that had a little blue sheen to it. She was wearing all black decorated by a little lace. Her hands were clasped behind her back and she was standing still but her face gave way to the intrigue and curiosity she was feeling about this Sky Girl.

After the king was done speaking to the group he leaned down to Raven, put a gentle hand on her shoulder, and mumbled, “I must attend a meeting with my council. Lia will show you to your quarters and make sure that you are taken care of until I can come back to you.”

 _Until I come back to you._ He said it like a promise.

His breath was hot against her ear and she hoped the blush she was feeling didn’t show. She gave a curt nod and watched as he walked away with the other nine people, leaving the girl with the topaz eyes, _Lia_ there with her. She stepped forward and Raven extended her hand but the woman pulled her into a light hug. It caught the brunette off guard; she was pretty sure hugging was not a custom Grounder greeting, and she was damn sure the Ice People didn’t hug. Well, at least she was sure of it before but now she wasn’t sure about much of anything regarding the Azgeda people.

“I’m Lia.” She smiled, her English perfect. Raven was thankful there was no language barrier between the two of them; it made things much simpler—if they could even be that way in the first place.

“Raven,” She winced at the pressure from the hug.

Seeing the pain etched in her face Lia’s smile faded from her lips. “Oh! King Roan said you sustained injuries from your travel. Come, I’ll call the healer.” She looped her arm through Raven’s and began leading her up the steps to the building. She had to grab onto the railing for support due to her leg beginning to throb, and it took longer than necessary to get to the door of Roan’s home, but Lia made no comment on it. “Lady Raven, are you alright?” The woman asked as they reached the top of the steps.

Raven snapped her head up at her, nodded. “Fine, just…the seaweed is starting to wear off.”  
  
“Right, the healer is just in here.” Lia led her into the building.

“You don’t have to call me ‘lady’, you know. Raven is fine.” She pointed out. For some reason it only felt right coming from Roan and she had no idea why. She tried to not think about it.

Lia looked at her sideways. “Would you prefer if I just called you Raven?” She nodded and the taller girl smiled, patting her hand. “Alright then, just Raven it is.”

The other Ice People walking through the lobby of Roan’s home gave the two women odd looks as they passed. Raven did her best to not make eye contact with any of them. She wasn’t afraid, not really, she just didn’t know what caused conflict for these people. In some cultures eye contact was a challenge. Raven was in no position to challenge any of these fierce warriors. So she kept her head down and let Lia guide her to the healer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if my spelling of 'lady' is correct; there was nothing in their language that said it so i had to figure it out myself.


	4. Sky Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven held her hand out but Lia just swooped down and gave her another hug. Slowly Raven returned it, thinking that maybe she could get used to the Grounder girl wrapping her arms around her. It was a sort of comfort she hadn’t felt in a while.

Luckily for Raven the healer was located on the ground floor. By the time they got there all of her wolf injuries had begun to pulse in aguish again. She highly doubted that she would have been able to climb the endless stairs that wound up the left side of the building in that state if the healer had been up there. Maybe it had been a police station in another life. She knew that those were relatively small buildings compared to others.

Lia kept Raven’s arm linked through hers as she led her to the last room on the left. The girl pushed their way inside, a bright smile on her face as she saw a woman sitting at a wooden desk on the other side of the dimly lit room. There were red curtains hanging on the windows and various candles lit around the place. To the left of the room were three desks, all of which had several vials of what Raven assumed were herbs for healing and other remedies. To the right was a bed, a bath tub, and a vanity.

Her eyes lingered on the tub, the need to jump in and have boiling water poured over her was consuming. It had been almost a week since she’d cleaned herself—she didn’t count rinsing off in the river. There was mud and blood caked all over her, matting her hair together, in other places she didn’t even want to think about.

As they walked farther into the room she trained her eyes away from the vanity mirror; she didn’t need to know what state her appearance was in. “Hello, Zita.” Lia greeted the woman, who turned and gave her a sweet smile, but upon seeing Raven it vanished and she rose her hand, making odd gestures in the air. Lia let go of Raven’s arm and made gestures back, then they went back and forth for a few seconds. The woman watched them, silent and confused. Though it only took her a heartbeat to realize that they were using sign language.

The healer stood and twisted her long, braided brown hair on top of her head, then motioned for Raven to go to the bed. She complied and sat down on the mattress. “Tell her what happened to you.” Lia said as she came to stand beside Raven.

“She can hear?” She asked, wanting to make sure. Lia nodded and she noticed Zita rolled her eyes. Raven felt her cheeks heat up, but cleared her throat and said, “I was attacked by a wolf about three days ago. Roan packed the wounds with seaweed.”

Zita nodded, then went to her medicine tables and began mixing things together. She held up a hand without turning back towards the two women, made some gestures that Raven was completely clueless about. Lia nodded, looked down at Raven with somber eyes. “She wants to know about your leg.”

Raven automatically brought her hand to the brace, began message the tender muscle under the harsh metal. She gave a little shrug. “I was shot in the back a few months ago and now I can’t use my leg. It’s unrelated.”

The brunette nodded, made some more gestures. “She wants to know how the pain is.” Lia spoke.

“Manageable.” She lied.

Zita turned and gave her a sharp look, like she knew she was lying.

Raven blew a hard sigh out of her nose, rolled her eyes a little and shifted on the bed. Beside her Lia hid a smirk and giggle behind her palm. “Okay, so it sucks. It sucks and it hurts. A lot.” She admitted reluctantly. She’d been dealing with it for so long she thought that it didn’t matter, and really, it didn’t, because there was no cure, but if this healer thought that she could do something about it then Raven was going to throw the ball in her court.

“Zita is very good at what she does.” Lia mumbled, watching the other woman work in admiration. Raven wondered if there was anything there but decided not to ask; she didn’t know these people, why would she be inclined to ask about their personal (and romantic) lives?

The healer took ten minutes to prepare her herbal mixtures. Once she was done she came back over to Raven, leaned down over her, tending to her arm first. Now that Zita was closer Raven could tell that she was Asian. Of which decent she didn’t know, and Zita probably didn’t know either; after the world blew up everyone lost track of their exact ethnicities. Raven, for example, was Latina but she had no idea if she was Mexican, Cuban, Puerto Rican, etc. She could speak Spanish, though, thanks to her mother drilling it into her head. That was just about the only thing she was thankful for from the woman; since she knew Spanish learning Trigedasleng wouldn’t be as hard as she once assumed it would be.

If she was even going to learn it at all. Sure, it would come in handy since she was living in a Grounder clan but— _Whoa, wait, back up bitch, living with them?_ She shook her head in disbelief at the thought. She wasn’t _living_ in the Ice Nation; she was just there to heal and then…and then what? What was she going to do? Where was she going to go? She was strong but she didn’t want to be alone. But did she want to live with the people who killed her girlfriend and other innocent people?

She was afraid of the answer.

 

* * *

 

It took Zita twenty minutes to apply her herbal mixture to Raven’s wounds. They had begun to heal but were becoming red and puffy around the edges, the threat of fever and infection underway. Unlike the seaweed, the mixture that Zita had prepared didn’t burn when applied. Raven would only need to change the dressings twice a day: once when she awoke in the morning and another after she took her bath at night; Zita would come to her when the sun rose and fell, bringing more of the medication with her. Before the two women left her room, she pressed a vial of purplish liquid in Raven’s hand, gave her a firm look, and then went back to the desk that she had been sitting in when they arrived.

“Well that was lovely.” Lia chirped happily as she looped her arm through Raven’s again and began leading her to the front of the building. “It’s always nice to see Zita. The poor thing stays locked in her room most of the time unless she’s called upon to go into the city or needs more herbs.” The woman noted with a downturned lip. It was obvious to Raven that Lia cared for the healer.

“What…” Raven trailed off, searching for the right wording to what she wanted to ask. She didn’t want to sound rude or offensive; Lia was happy go lucky but she could probably take down a man five times her size. Raven didn’t want to say anything that would warrant a stab to the stomach. “What happened to Zita?” She blurted, finding no other way to ask. “Was she born mute?”

“Oh…” Lia trailed off, her tone losing its lightheartedness. She bit her lip, then mumbled, “No. She got her tongue cut out ten years ago.”

Raven’s eyes widened. “Holy shit, what happened?” She exclaimed softly.

“Her father was an evil bastard.” The woman explained, her tone going dark.

“My god…” Raven trailed off, trying to wrap her mind around the information. How could a parent do that to their child? Sure, Grounders were tough and they had their own discipline procedures, but cutting out your child’s tongue? She shuttered at the thought. “Was he held accountable?” She questioned.

“Oh, yes. He fled but our trackers found him and stabbed him through the heart.” She said proudly with a large smile.

“Good.” Raven agreed. She could have thought of more creative ways for the man to die, but the ends justified the means. As long as he didn’t die in honor for what he did—and it sounded like he didn’t—then it was fine. No child should have to go through the abuse from the person who was supposed to protect them. She knew that all too well.

Lia nodded in agreement. “Zita can hear but she can’t speak, that’s why we use sign language. Luckily the city elder was able to teach her and the rest of us who wanted to know.” Her voice grew hushed as they made their way to the lobby of the building. Several Grounders glanced as they passed by, but gave them no more attention other than that.

The Grounder directed her to the stairs. Raven looked up at the never ending staircase, cursed herself, sighed internally, and began climbing with the other woman. “Does she prefer for people to speak in sign to her?”

Lia grinned, slowed her uppity pace so that she wasn’t practically pulling Raven up the stairs. “She does.” Then added, “Unless they really have to get her attention, she’s in a meeting, or it’s an emergency, but otherwise she does prefer sign.” She nodded with every word.

“That’s understandable.”

They were silent the rest of the way up. Raven tried to concentrate as best she could to keep her bad leg moving. She’d never walked up stairs since having the brace, and needless to say it was killing her. Zita’s liquid remedy sloshed around in her pants pocket and the thought crossed her mind to down it right then, but willed herself not to. What if it was poison? Sure she’d dressed her wounds but what if that was all a show?

She would have slapped herself for being so goddamn paranoid if it wasn’t valid.

Raven stopped about half way up, taking deep breaths to keep herself from shouting; her leg was burning, her lower back was numb. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry for a few hours. She gripped the railing, bent down to catch her breath and hide any tears that might have slipped out. The last thing she wanted was for this woman she didn’t even know to see her cry.

Lia bent down closer to her, murmured quietly, “We’re almost there.” Raven looked up at her, wanting to bite her head off that she didn’t need help, but swallowed the unnecessary rage down because it wasn’t Lia’s fault, she was only trying to give encouragement and help, something that was a rarity for her to come across in Arkadia. Sure, Sinclair was positive towards her, but everyone else? Abby just nagged her, making it seem like she was broken and fragile. No one else paid attention to her disability, which she should have been ecstatic over, and she was to an extent, but encouragement from them would have been welcomed.

“Should I get King Roan?” She asked, her voice still soft so that only Raven could hear.

Raven’s eyes widened slightly and she shook her head. “No, don’t. Don’t bother him.” She ignored the way Lia’s light eyes were sparking with sympathy.

“Can you—“

“I can.” Raven nodded surely, straightening back out. Lia stood with her, gripped her arm tightly and began leading her up the stairs again. Raven grabbed the girls hand around her arm and held it to steady her more. Her eyes stung but she refused to cry. There were much worse things to cry about; her leg was not one of them.

 

* * *

 

 

Once they were on the tenth floor Lia continued to lead Raven down the long hallway. When they reached the last room on the left, Lia pushed open the double doors and revealed a lavish room; sheer purple drapes hung on the four large windows; two on the back wall and two on the right, each giving a grand view of the city. To the left, under the windows, was a huge bed covered in thick, elegant looking blankets and fluffy pillows. In front of the windows in the middle of the room was a medium sized couch and a love seat. To the right wall was a vanity and beside it was a book case full of old books, along with an empty desk. Large candle holders were placed everywhere and the walls were painted a light blue, which made the room feel that much lighter. Beside the book case was another door which she was sure led to a tub and more mirrors. It was all so beautiful and Raven never wanted to leave.

Raven plopped down on the bed, eager to get off her bad leg and finally rest. Those stairs took more out of her than she was willing to admit, though she was sure it was etched all over her face. “How long are you staying in the city?” Lia questioned lightly as she went over to the curtains in the middle of the room and pulled them open. The setting sun shone into the room, illuminating it with a soft glow. With more light in the room Raven could make out the intricate designs that had been stenciled onto the walls with silver paint. Swirls and circles looped together, meeting and breaking and creating new ones all around the room. It made her smile.

“I’m…not sure.” Raven answered honestly, taking off her jacket, welcoming the chilly air and placing her backpack down on the floor beside her muddied shoes. “Roan said I can stay long enough to heal.”

Lia turned from the closet and gave Raven a playful look with raised brows. “And then?” She pressed.

The woman furrowed her brows. “And then…we’ll have to go from there.” She gave a little shrug, not wanting to think about what was going to happen beyond that. She didn’t have a clue but she figured she could sort it out later.

The Grounder nodded, brought over a change of clothes, sat them on the bed beside Raven, then clasped her hands together and gave her a wide smile that stretched halfway across her pretty face. “Well, until you decide, I will be your guide and your translator. If you wish to go out into the city, or the other villages, I’ll accompany you so that there are minimal language barriers.”

Raven studied the woman, assessing her. Tall and thin, nice and pretty. She didn’t look dangerous, but looks were deceiving. She looked nice and sincere and when she stared at Raven it wasn’t in pity, it was in genuine intrigue. Something in the back of her mind whispered to give her a chance, so she slowly nodded and returned the smile. “That’s really nice of you, thanks.”

“Of course, La—Raven.” She caught herself, gave a cheeky smile, an apologetic shake of her head. “Everyone in the building and nearly everyone in the city speak your language, but I’ll be with you just in case. And when you have your visits from Zita, of course.” Lia grabbed Raven’s shoes and backpack and went to go place them in the closet.

Raven considered her next question, figured that if she was going to be staying for quite some time that she should know how to communicate with the woman who was healing her. “Could you teach me?”

“Hmm?”

“Sign Language. We…we had classes for it on the Ark but I never took them.” She uttered in embarrassment. She should have taken the class, but she was too busy sneaking down into the labs and building things.

Lia poked her head out of the closet, gave Raven an eager smile and pleased nod. “I will teach you sign language if you tell me stories of space.” She proposed, walking back to the woman on the bed.

“Deal.” Raven held her hand out but Lia just swooped down and gave her another hug. Slowly Raven returned it, thinking that maybe she could get used to the Grounder girl wrapping her arms around her. It was a sort of comfort she hadn’t felt in a while.

 

* * *

 

Later that evening, when Lia left her to go tend to other matters, Raven found herself roaming the hallways of the building. The sun was almost completely set so candles were lit everywhere. She only came across three other Grounders in the hallways and they did their best to keep their eyes off of her. She didn’t know if that was meant as an insult or if they were just being… _polite._

She strolled the ninth and eighth floors for thirty minutes before her leg started acting up again. She still hadn’t taken the medicine Zita had prepared for her. After resting for a few hours in her new room the pain had dulled, but now it was flaring up again due to all the walking. She made her way back to the ninth floor and was about to ascend the other set of stairs to her floor, but stopped when she heard a female shouting, followed by a calm male voice.

“She is the enemy!” The woman shrieked.

“Strife with Skaikru was my mother’s, not mine, not yours, not any of ours.” Roan replied. They were talking about her. Curiosity got the better of Raven; she chewed the inside of her mouth, followed the sound of their voices to the third door on the left. She made sure to keep her distance so that she wouldn’t be detected as she eased dropped. “We’ve been fighting her battle for far too long. We have nothing against the Sky People and we will stop acting like we do.” He spoke sternly, closing a book and placing it on his desk.

Ontari barked a laugh. “You brought this woman to her death.”

Roan’s hands slammed down on his desk and his chair scrapped across the tile floor as he stood. “Are you threatening my guest in front of me?” He asked darkly, calmly, his voice dropping several octaves. Raven shuttered and pushed _those_ thoughts from her mind. “You may be family, Ontari, but I will not hesitate to—“

“I’m not going to do anything!” She shouted in frustration, slamming her fist on the wall, creating a small dent. Raven made a mental note to not piss her off, though she was pretty sure just by breathing she was already there.

“Good.” He sat back down, satisfied and once again calm. “And tell Echo the same. Anyone who still has allegiance to my mother will be dealt with accordingly. Do not make me have to kill you, Ontari.” Then his voiced dropped to a whisper, and he said regrettably, “Do not make me have to kill Echo as my mother killed Costia.”

_Costia?_ She remembered hearing the Commander telling Clarke about a woman with that name. They’d been together, so how did Ontari know her? And—was Ontari really dating Echo? She figured it made since: they were two complete badasses and from what she could tell one in the same. If Echo was living within these walls, too, then that meant she had to be extra careful, since she was partially responsible for Mount Weather blowing up. If she saw Raven she might would want to finish the job.

Ontari was silent for a few moments, then said quietly, her voice shaking, “You would not do that to her. You would not do that to me.”

Roan shook his head, looked at her with soft eyes. “I wouldn’t want to. Don’t give me a reason to.” The threat was real, Raven knew, but it was a threat the man didn’t want to act on. She could hear it in his voice.

“What do you see in this Sky Girl?” His cousin asked in disgust.

“She is a guest, that’s all.” He shrugged, began writing on a piece of stained parchment.

“You are a liar, Roan.” She accused with a dark laugh.

He didn’t look up at her as he spoke, “Make sure you tell Echo and the others what will become of them if they move against _Leidi_ _Reivon._ The war my mother tried to start with Skaikru is over, do not make me have to say it again.” And that was the end of it.

“Yes, _ai_ _haihefa._ ” She said bitterly, and slammed the door behind her as she left.

Raven backed away from her slightly as she came face to face with the fierce warrior. They were the same height, so Ontari’s dark eyes glared right into Raven’s. She looked her up and down, turned back her lip into a snarl. Then she brushed past Raven, making sure to hit her shoulder as she went, and stomped down the stairs.

The brunette closed her eyes, exhaling her held breath. She waited a second before she climbed back up the stairs just in case Ontari was waiting for her. _Well, that could have gone a lot worse._ She thought. She made it out of that confrontation alive, so maybe trying to _live_ with the woman wouldn’t be so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will have more of roan x raven ;) 
> 
> (I really like writing lia tho. I wish a character like her existed on the show)


	5. Ai Leidi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once upon a time she could go up and down stairs without stopping for twenty minutes to massage away the burning sensation in her thigh. But once upon a time she was living in space and things were much simpler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry it's taken me a few days to update. writers block has been the ultimate bitch for this and i hit such a crossroads. i had all the dialogue but none of the emotions and movement and oh man it was so hard. but i did it! i don't know if i love this 100% but it was the best i could do and i hope it's not too bad. as always, love you guys. <3
> 
> mentions of past child abuse but nothing graphic/in detail

Lia helped her into a boiling bath later that night. It was odd, having someone else help wash herself off, though Raven made it a point to Lia that she could only wash her hair and then turn away while she did the rest. Lia did so with a half smile on her face and Raven felt her cheeks turn a light shade a pink. Thankfully it was hidden by the steam. It was nice, sitting in that large tub, hot water soothing her aching muscles and bubbles making her skin soft. She realized, sadly, that it had been the first time since being on the ground that she really was able to relax.

She soaked for a good hour until the water began to cool, all the while Lia sat on one of the chairs facing the large windows, watching the sleet fall outside and making small conversation. Since being on the ground Raven had seen rain and sleet but she’d never seen snow; she knew that in Azgeda when winter came the snow would never stop. She was eager for that.

“If you’re even still here.” She muttered to herself, lying her head back and rolling her eyes. There were numerous reasons why she had to leave. Echo being in the building was number one. Roan had explicitly told Ontari what would happen if they moved against Raven, but Echo was under the control of Queen Nia for how long? A long, long time she presumed. Raven knew someone couldn’t unlearn that type of hate and behavior within a few weeks. Even if the threat of death loomed over Echo’s head. If there was one thing Raven actually knew about the Ice People it was that they didn’t fear death.

“Did you say something?” Lia asked, turning her head slightly in her direction.

“Oh, just, uh, the water is getting cold.” Raven mumbled, sitting up and rinsing the remaining soap off her body.

“Would you like to get out?”

Raven nodded. “Yeah.”

She was silent for a few seconds, then asked softly, “Do you need help getting out?” Though Raven knew she was being sincere, Lia’s words still hurt. Once upon a time she could pull herself out of the tub. Once upon a time she could go up and down stairs without stopping for twenty minutes to massage away the burning sensation in her thigh. But once upon a time she was living in space and things were much simpler.

Hesitantly, Raven repeated, “Yeah.” She hated to admit such a thing, but there was no way she'd be able to get out of that deep tub without help.

She was beside the other woman in an instant, hands wrapped around her forearms, waiting to pull up when Raven signaled. She nodded once and Lia pulled her up, slowly and carefully so that she wouldn’t disturb Raven’s other injuries. Once Raven was standing, Lia kept one hand around her arm and the other pulled a fluffy towel around her shoulders. She helped her out of the tub, then led her over to the bed so that she could dry herself off. Raven was thankful she didn’t ask to help—the woman wanted to keep at least _some_ of her dignity.

Raven stayed wrapped in the towel after she was dry so it would be easier for Zita to redress her wounds. Lia called for the healer and she was there within five minutes, arms full of supplies. She was in and out within ten minutes. Lia left with her after making sure that Raven had everything she needed.

She stayed wrapped in her towel for a while, staring out the large windows, watching the stars twinkle in the sky. It was hard to imagine that just a few months ago she was living up there, and that all she really had to worry about was making sure the Ark didn’t fall apart. Being as her world was now, fixing the space station seemed a lot less tedious.

A light knock sounded outside her door, which caused her to jump and her heart to start beating a little faster. “Lady Raven,” A hushed deep voice spoke. Her nerves calmed when she realized it was Roan. A smile tugged at her lips when she remembered his words from earlier: _I’ll find you._ She assumed he would wait to see her in the morning, being a busy king with a nation to run and all. “May I come in?” He asked after a moment of silence.

Her eyes grew wide. “Oh, yeah.” She shifted towards the door as it opened and Roan stepped inside. His clothes had changed, though instead of looking comfortable he was dressed as if he was going to a fancy dinner. His hair was up, though, in a bun with a few stray braids and little strands hanging in his face.

He greeted her with a smile. “Good evening, Lady Raven.” There he went again with the ‘Lady Raven’, and there her heart went with thumping a little faster. She blamed her goddamn heart murmur.

“Good evening.” She greeted back, feeling too formal again. It wasn’t like in the ancient times when people absolutely _had_ to greet royalty with such…old language. Then again he was a king. But then again this wasn’t 1402; this was the future, a regressed future, but a future still, and the formality when he spoke to her just seemed so out of place.

As he walked further into the room he stopped and turned away slightly. “Oh,” He coughed and Raven furrowed her brows. He motioned towards her and said, “I hadn’t realized you weren’t dressed. I’ll come back.”

 _Well, shit._ She thought, wrapping the blanket around herself tighter. “No, uh, it’s fine.” He was halfway out the door but she didn’t want him to leave. “Just give me a second.” Luckily Lia left her change of clothes on the end of the bed. Raven threw the towel off herself and slipped on the nigh gown. The material was sheer and flimsy, undeniably see through. She should have cared a lot but somehow she didn’t. “It’s fine. Come in.”

Roan turned back towards her, his hands a little fidgety at his sides. She raised an eyebrow but stayed quiet, waiting for him to speak. He shifted his eyes from her to the wall, asked, “Are you settling in well?”

“I am, thank you.” Raven watched him walk across the room towards the large windows. He stood in front of them, his arms tightly crossed, his eyes trained outside, looking down at the city glowing under the full moon.

“Is the room to your liking?” He asked carefully, still looking anywhere but at her.

“It is. It’s very…lovely.” _Big_ is what she was thinking. Big and beautiful and welcoming, unlike the rooms on the Ark that were small and cold and bare. Sure they had personal items but not many because of such little space. Those in other sections of the station had bigger rooms; if someone was _important_ then they got a bigger room. But if you were from _the help_ then you got stuck with a tiny thing you could barely move around in.

“Good, I’m glad.” She could see a faint smile slide across his face from the reflection on the glass.  “I’ve been told you saw the healer earlier.”

“Yeah, she was great.”

“Has the medicine she gave you for your leg helped?”

“Oh…I don’t know. I haven’t taken it yet.” She confessed, a little embarrassed. She grabbed her brace from beside the bed and slipped it on, locking it in place, and then limped over to the window to stand beside him. Sitting her leg was fine, standing and walking it felt like it was being sawed in half.

Roan furrowed his brows and turned his head to her. “Why not?”

She gave a little shrug, bit her lip, avoided his gaze. “I don’t know.” She was no longer skeptical that Zita was trying to poison her—the paranoia was starting to wear thin that any of the Ice People would try to kill her at all, except for Ontari and Echo. She was sure that if they got the chance and if Roan didn’t have threats hanging over their heads than they would take her out slowly and painfully.

And maybe she deserved it.

“Do you like being in pain?” His husky voice brought her out of imagining her death. She wondered of it so many times before, and cheated it more than once, it was starting to get tiresome.

Did she deserve the pain? She was a good person, she thought. Well, temperamental and too mean sometimes, but still a good person. Did she deserve the pain? Did she deserve to die? Sometimes she thought she would be better off dead. Other times she figured no one back in Arkadia—the delinquents primarily—would have survived without her, so if she died they’d be fucked. But she was gone now, and they were already fucked before she left, so the thought formed that maybe they were fine. Or maybe the camp was burning. She didn’t know which was worse.

They stood in silence, Roan watching her with calculating eyes and Raven propping her chin in her palm, watching a shooting star pass through the sky. Finally, she sighed and muttered, “Pain is all I know.” The threat of tears stung her eyes but she blinked them away. “Even up in the Ark, pain was a prominent factor in my life. It just grew when I landed on earth. After the bullet was removed from my back I was told that I would always be in pain. Surgery could help manage it but it would never go away.” She looked up at the man, saw how content he was listening to her, how the worry lines in his face seemed to disappear. She looked away and went on, “And now suddenly this healer says that if I drink that magic potion the pain will be dulled and I can walk without problems and maybe even run. It terrifies me; I don’t…know how to live without pain.” She dropped her arms in defeat, let them bounce against her thighs lazily. She hated being this open to a stranger. Hated how _easy_ it was to talk to him. It was as if she’d known him all her life. Whenever he entered the room she wanted to spill everything about herself to him and it _pissed_ her off.

“You’re afraid you’ll miss it.” He stated in understanding, as if he knew the struggle personally.

Raven nodded thoughtfully, exhaling a large breath from her lungs. She sat on the edge of the loveseat, propping her elbows on her knees and holding her head. “It’s the only thing I’m able to hold on to from my past. If I let it go then what will I be left with?”

_Her mom._

_Finn._

_Gina._

If she let it go she would lose them, too. She didn’t know if she could do that.

“Freedom.” He answered simply.

She shot her head up, eyes wide, mouth slightly ajar, hands falling between her legs. _Freedom._ That was such a foreign concept to her. Up in the Ark officials said they were free, but they really weren’t. On the ground it was said they were free, but again they weren’t. Now this king was telling her she could have freedom and she wanted to believe him but what really was free?

He stood beside her now, gingerly placed a calloused hand on her shoulder, barely at first until she didn’t pull away. She knew she should have shrugged him off, yelled at him not to touch her, but it was warm and comforting and she didn’t want to push it away. Didn’t want to push _him_ away. “You have lived with pain for too long, Raven. Now you have the chance to dull it completely. Don’t you think it’s time to be at peace? Don’t you think you deserve that?”

“I don’t know if I do.” She answered honestly, her voice just barely a whisper.

“You do.” He remarked sternly.

She gave a little laugh, with attitude she didn’t mean. “How can you say that when you don’t even know me?”

He gave a shrug, a grin. “Everyone deserves happiness.”

Raven ran her hands through her curly, damp hair and sighed. “Yeah…maybe one day I’ll believe that.”

“I hope you will.” He removed his hand from her shoulder after giving it a light squeeze. She reveled from the loss of contact but said nothing. He looked back out the window, arms crossed once more.

She looked up at Roan, eyes scanning him up and down, careful to not linger on one place for too long. She hadn’t noticed it before but his beard had been trimmed so that it was just barely there and from the light of the moon she could see the depth of the scarring decorating his face. She wondered how badly it hurt and how exactly they did it. And maybe what it would be like if she…

Raven coughed and leaned back in the chair, asked in monotone, “So are you just going to stand there or are you going to sit?”

He looked down at her, eyes bright with amusement. “If you want me to sit I will.”

She rolled her eyes, motioned all around the room. “This is your place, _King Roan,_ you can sit wherever you want.” She said his title mockingly, though without malice.

The man smirked at her, sat down in the seat beside her and relaxed into its comfort, closing his eyes and leaning his head back on the cushion. His muscles loosened and he looked so content, so at ease. She figured it was a rare thing to see him that way.

He cracked an eye open and Raven quickly adverted her eyes, careful to not look back with her peripheral vision. “What happened?” Roan asked, motioning to his shoulder and then pointing at hers. Confused, Raven looked behind her, saw the little scars that were there, and brought her fingers up to them, tracing the thin, rubbery skin. Her mind rewound to ten years ago, back in space, back with her mom. “You know how you said your mother was horrible? Well, mine wasn’t all that great either. She wasn’t a tyrant or anything, but she sure as hell wasn’t a saint.”

“What was she?” He asked with genuine interest, sitting up and leaning towards her.

Raven scrunched up her face as the memories came flooding back. “A drunk. After my father got Floated all she would do was drink and when she drank she hit and when she hit I was her unwilling punching bag. She was Floated when I was thirteen.” Her tone grew bitter at the memory. She remembered it vividly; the guards came in, guns pointed. Her mother put up a fight, tried to run, threw Raven in front of the guards while she tried to get away. She was caught anyway, of course. Raven never went to her execution.

Roan furrowed his brow, gave her a sideways look. “Floated?” He asked in confusion. Raven tried to not notice how… _cute_ it was. Key word: tried. (Could jackass warrior king be cute? She didn’t think so, and yet…)

“Yeah, uh, thrown into space.” His confusion grew so she elaborated, using wide gestures for emphasis, “There’s no oxygen in space so you die. You don’t decompose, either, but that’s a different story. Anyway, if adults committed crimes in the Ark they would be executed. If children below the age of eighteen were caught breaking the law then they were locked up and their files were reviewed on their eighteenth birthday. If the crime was bad enough then they would get Floated, too. My mother was Floated for harboring illegal moonshine.”

“And you say our people’s ways are barbaric.” He said once she was done explaining.

She turned her head to him, leaned in close, “No one called you barbaric.”

“So you don’t think that of our ways?” He leaned closer to her, too.

She looked at the ceiling, searched through her head for the right words, then explained carefully, smoothly, “I think each culture and society has their own way of doing things.” They were so close to each other now, him leaning over the chair towards her and her leaning over towards  him, their eyes open, their faces soft, the corners of their lips lifted slightly.

Raven could have sworn he was moving closer, and that she was leaning closer, too, but then a shout boomed down stairs, followed by something shattering. Raven pulled away, went to stand to see what was wrong, but Roan grabbed her hand and pulled her back down with an exasperated sigh. “It was just Ontari.” He groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face, then, under his breath, “Throwing a fucking fit.”

She grinned, which quickly faded when she remembered the conversation she’d overheard Roan and his cousin having earlier. “My being here is causing problems between you and your people.”

“There are no problems.” He assured, letting go of her hand, his fingers lingering a bit longer than necessary.

“I heard you fighting with Ontari.”

“We were not fighting; I was just simply informing my stubborn cousin of the way things will be from now on. She and some others are still stuck in the ways of my mother. They’ll come around to accept how things will be from now on or—“

“Or you’ll kill them.” She finished.

He gave a curt nod. “If it comes to that.”

Raven shook her head several times. “I don’t want you to kill people because they don’t like me being here.”

“I would be killing them to send a message that Skaikru is not our enemy. The supporters of my mother are scarce, so I don’t expect force to change their way of thinking will be necessary…” He trailed off, then added, “We do what needs to be done but we’re not above feeling. And loving.” He looked at her straight in the eyes as he said that, never blinking, never wavering, just staring at her with those ice blue eyes, searching for something she didn’t quite understand yet.

The woman looked away from him, saw his face fall a little when she broke eye contact. “So Ontari won’t kill me in my sleep?” She asked halfheartedly.

“Ontari is hard but she’s loyal. She’s not bad, she’s just misguided. But, no, she won’t.”

“And Echo?”

“You are safe here.” He repeated for what she assumed was the hundredth time that day. He couldn’t blame her for being skeptical, and she was glad he didn’t patronize her for it. Though if he would have she would’ve given him an earful she was sure a king like him had never experienced before.

A thin smile tugged at her lips. “Okay.”

Roan got up then and she followed suit, watching as he went over to her vanity and brought back with him the little vial of medicine Zita had given her earlier. He pressed it into her palm and gave her a begging look. She bit the inside of her cheek but nodded. “I will have the healer come to visit you in the morning, Lady Raven.” He informed, then turned and started back towards her door.

 _Wait, don’t leave._ She nearly blurted, but instead called, “You don’t have to call me lady.”

Roan looked back at her, eyebrows raised. “Do you wish me to stop?”

_No._

“I mean…” She gave a tiny shrug. “Only if you want to.”

“Then I will keep calling you lady, My Lady.” He gave her a little bow, then opened her door and stepped outside into the hallway.

 _My Lady?_ Goddamn, any more of those pet names and her heart was going to explode. _And Jesus Christ, a fucking bow?_ She should have laughed at the silliness of it all but all she could do was smile.

“Goodnight, King Roan.” She mumbled before he shut the door.

 _“Reshop, Leidi Reivon.”_ He said softly, then shut the door and was gone. Raven didn’t know what _reshop_ meant but she was smart and could put two and two together—she told him goodnight and he repeated it back to her, except it was in his beautiful language.

 _Gina, please forgive me._ She begged before falling asleep that night with the ghost of a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this wasn't too dreadful and that you enjoyed it!


	6. Space Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every time he looked at her she felt as if her insides were on fire. The good kind of fire. The fire that warmed her from the core and spread to her fingertips. It was the kind of fire she never wanted to be put out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have finally mapped out each chapter and have come to the conclusion that **16 chapters** will be the set number. So that means only 10 chapters left and...wow that makes me sadder than I thought it would. But it's okay! I have several more long Ice Mechanic fics planned after this one. :)
> 
> OH! And some people have been wondering who my face claims are for Lia and Zita. 
> 
> **Lia: Zoe Kravitz  
>  Zita: Bridget Hollitt**  
> and now  
>  **Viktori: Priyanka Chopra**

The days began to pass in a blur. A lovely, peaceful blur. Lia took her out into the city almost daily and she was starting to pick up more of the language with each passing minute. Roan visited her every night and sometimes during the day when he wasn’t tending to the needs of his people. He made it a point to everyone that she wasn’t going anywhere so long as she didn’t want to. Though he asked her time and again that if she wanted to write to her people, he would gladly send a messenger to Arkadia, but she always refused. And when he brought up that she could return home whenever she pleased, Raven would change the subject instantly. After the first week he stopped asking her.

The hostility wore thin after the second week, though there was still a handful of Ice People who glared and sneered every time she showed her face, Echo being one of them. Ontari’s rage towards her simmered, though she kept making snide remarks to her whenever she got the chance—and she got the chance often. Raven did her best to ignore it and coax Lia out of fighting her.

Raven’s wolf wounds were almost completely healed and Zita kept her supply of that purple liquid stocked in her room at the ready. The remedy worked; Raven could walk with little to no pain and she could go up and down the stairs without having to stop for ten minutes to bite back tears. She felt like her old self with each passing day and it made her want to cry with relief.

She was invited to some of King Roan’s meetings. The less important ones; disputes of land, arguments of trade, stealing, etc. Some of the council disapproved of it, but Roan made it abundantly clear that he was king and what he said was all that really mattered. Raven knew there were few radicals left, the people who followed his mother, and she knew Roan was more than capable of taking care of himself, but she couldn’t help but worry that her being there, sitting in those meetings, would somehow cause an uprising against him. Then she remembered that the majority of the Ice People loved him, so the odds of that happening were slim to none. The reassurance made her smile.

He was the quiet leader type, though his presents was loud and demanded order. He was fair, she’d come to learn, but lethal. People did their best not to cross or anger him. She’d heard whispers in the hallways of the palace and in the streets of the kingdom that he was the complete opposite of his mother: she was, plainly, a tyrannical dictator. Most were just biding their time until she died, doing whatever she asked because they didn’t want their fate to be the same as Costia’s. But when they spoke of Roan it wasn’t a whisper, it was loud, cheerful, thankful. A trade woman told her that his banishment had been lifted after the Commander spared him in battle, killed his mother instead, and named him King of Azgeda.

She didn’t know why Roan had been banished, and while the curiosity was eating away at her, she thought better than to ask; she didn’t know the details but she knew it would be a sore subject. She tried to piece as much of it together as she could: Ontari was in love with Costia. Nia tortured and killed Costia while making everyone, including the woman who loved her, watch. Then Roan was banished. That’s all she knew and that’s all she figured she needed to know. If Ontari or Roan wanted her to know the rest of the story then they would tell her themselves—though she was certain Ontari would never open up to her or that Roan would want to relive that pain. She knew if it was her she wouldn’t.

 

* * *

 

“Your pronunciation is horrid.” The dark skinned woman gave a frustrated sigh, rubbed her temples and shook her head.

“It’s not like I was raised speaking this language.” Raven muttered, sitting back in the chair and crossing her arms. They’d been working on the same group of words ever since the teacher had arrived, and while Raven was good at their language, she was awful with this particular set of words.

The older woman waved her hand in the air dismissivelyand began towards the door. “I’ve had enough of you for today.” She walked out just as Lia walked in. They shared some whispers in the threshold and then Viktori snickered as she left.

Lia shut the door behind her as she walked in, went to Raven’s bathroom, and began running her a hot bath. “Your wife is awful.” Raven called as she stood to close the curtains. The second week she was there, Raven mentioned to Roan that she wanted to learn his people’s language and culture. Lia was a great teacher and interpreter, but she was already helping Raven so much on the daily, plus helping her learn sign language, she didn’t want to put learning the culture of Azgeda on her, too. (Even though Raven knew she would do it, being the nice soul that she was.)

Viktori had knocked on her door later that evening after she’d mentioned wanting a teacher. She was beautiful (as she’s come to learn that all Azgeda people were), with dark brown skin a few shades darker than her own, liquid gold eyes, and shoulder length chestnut brown hair, half piled on top of her head in a swirl of braids and the other half down, wavy and perfect. She greeted Raven with a deep frown and narrow eyes, pushed her way into the room, and began pounding knowledge into her head. Luckily Raven was highly intelligent and retained information like a sponge or else she was pretty sure Viktori would have gouged her eyes out by now.

The night after their first meeting Raven had ranted to Lia about the woman, who all the while just smiled and shook her head, a loving look at her face. It wasn’t until she was done and had considerably made an ass out of herself that Lia told her Viktori was her wife. Needless to say, shock didn’t even begin to describe how Raven felt. Embarrassed, too. But it made since, really. Where Lia was energetic, Viktori was stoic. Where Lia was upbeat, Viktori was brooding. They were the complete opposites of each other and somehow that worked.

After Raven apologized profusely Lia showed her the union scarring on her left hand. It started on the ring finger, wrapping around and spreading out on her hand in intricate swirls. It ended right at her wrist, circling it like a permanent bracelet. Lia explained that each married couple—or _couples_ (polyamorous relationships were quite a common thing amongst their people)—had different designs on their hands that held special meaning to them.

It was a beautiful thing, Raven thought. On the Ark all they had were the traditional rings. But on earth, things were much more…elaborate.

“It’s ready.” Lia stuck her head out of the bathroom, gave Raven a cheeky grin, then added, “Viktori actually really likes you.”

Raven arched a brow as she began taking off her clothes. After so many times of getting undressed in front of the woman she wasn’t bothered by it anymore. “She has a funny way of showing it.” She went into the bathroom and began un-strapping her brace. Lia grabbed her hand and held her around the waist, helped her step into the water, and then sat on the chair facing a little window on the other side of the generously sized bathroom.

The Grounder shrugged with a smile. “That’s just Viktori. She says you have a strong spirit. She likes that in people.”

The brunette gave a little nod and started lathering herself with the sweetly scented soap. “Well, as long as she won’t kill me in my sleep.” She joked lightheartedly.

Lia turned and gave her a sidelong look. “Haven’t you realized by now that we mean you no harm?” She asked solemnly.

Raven frowned, suddenly feeling bad. Three weeks there and she definitely knew by now that Lia would never do anything to hurt her. “You, yes. Others, not so much.”

“There are only few. And I could have them down in seconds.” Lia said smoothly, patting the dagger sheathed on her hip.

She chuckled lowly. “I have no doubt.”

They grinned at each other.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Raven was standing beside the large window in her room, arms folded against her chest, staring down at the bustling city below. It was nearly ten o’clock but people were still running about, getting their shops prepared for the next day. She was relaxed, watching them and then watching the sky. She noticed herself thinking about space less and less—unless it was when she was telling Lia stories, which she did every other day. But when she wasn’t sharing her previous life with the Grounder Girl, she wasn’t thinking of the Ark at all.

A jolt of excitement went through her—which she pushed away, of course—when a light knock sounded at her door. She assumed it was Roan. Who else could it have been? Lia lived down in the city with her wife, and there was no one else she could imagine who would be visiting her this late; Zita made it a point to only see her when she needed medicine. Plus, Roan had been visiting her every night since her arrival. Sometimes they didn’t talk when he came; they just simply sat and looked out the window. The only time he ever looked completely relaxed, she noted, was when he was sitting with her, in the seclusion of her room, away from his council and everyone who expected the world of him.

She felt like she knew him. Not all of him, not yet. But enough of him to know that he liked being alone, that he loved his kingdom but being the King was tedious even for him. He was a warrior, not a diplomat, but he was forced to make it work for his people. She knew that he favored sweet food over savory. That his favorite color was gray and that he, surprisingly, hated the cold but was used to it because of being born in the Nation of Ice. She also learned that Roan, King of the Ice Nation, fearsome warrior, under all that scarring and muscle and weapons, was nothing but a _big fucking softie._   

Okay, so, _yeah,_ she was excited to see him but _get a grip, Raven, this is just… This is just nothing._ She wondered how many times she would have to convince herself of that.

“Come in.” She answered the second knock. Though the smile disappeared to a deep frown when his cousin walked into the room, flipping her forearm length dagger in her hand. The girl walked around the room slowly, examining everything closely as if she was really interested. Raven stayed by the window, fingers gripping her arms tightly, a scowl ever growing. Finally, Ontari stopped a few inches in front of Raven, crossed her arms but kept the dagger visible. Raven raised a brow, asked in monotone, “Have you finally come to kill me?”

Ontari gave a little smirk, an aloof shrug, never broke eye contact with the other woman. “I’m not going to kill you—though I should.”

Raven smirked back slightly. “That’s comforting.”

She was silent for a few heartbeats, studying Raven up and down, then asked, “Why are you still here?”

“I’m Roan’s—“

“No, Sky Girl,” She growled. Ontari stepped closer to the darker woman, their noses barely touching. She was trying her damnedest to intimidate her, but Raven had been through hell and back; she would not back down so easily. “Why are you _here_? In Azgeda. In _my_ home.”

Raven understood, which was why when she spoke her voice held no malice, though her eyes were still narrowed, “I don’t want to leave.” She admitted softly, finally breaking eye contact with the woman and turning to look back out the window.

Ontari stepped up beside her, arms still crossed but dagger finally away. “Why not?” She questioned flatly.

“Arkadia is too painful to be in.” She whispered.

Ontari kept her eyes outside, stated, “You lost someone you loved.”

Raven’s jaw clenched, a little lump formed in her throat. She gave a swift nod. “I watched her get blown up.” Her voice was tight and low; she tried to have as much control as possible so that it wouldn’t crack.

“Oh big deal.” Ontari snorted, planted herself in one of the seats behind them. Raven shot her a dirty look but stayed silent as she went on, “I watched the woman I loved get tortured and beheaded out in the city circle and still I live here.” She tried to sound nonchalant but Raven could see the way Ontari’s eyes began to glisten, the way her voice cracked ever so slightly, the way her shoulders hunched forward for a second but then straightened back out. “This is my home. Arkadia is your home. You should go back and face your demons.”

Raven let out a dry laugh. “I do. I face them every day.” She motioned to her left leg. “I wear them on my body like you wear your scarring. I’m not a coward for not going back, I’m just trying to move on.”

“And you think you will be able to do that in Azgeda.” She stated.

“Is there a reason I can’t?”

The tanned woman was silent, cocked her head to the side and squinted at Raven. She wanted to squirm under her icy gaze but willed herself to not move a muscle. The left corner of Ontari’s lips twitched and she muttered, “My cousin is very fond of you.”

Raven swallowed, controlled her breathing at the comment. “Hard to tell.” She gritted her teeth so strongly, it felt as if it they were about to be ground into dust.

Ontari arched her eyebrows, tapped her fingers on the chair several times, then pushed herself up. “He is.” She approached Raven again, chest to chest, whispered darkly, “You do anything to hurt him and I will kill you.” She threatened with a smile.

Raven huffed a sigh, raised her eyebrows in amusement. “Wow, and people say you Ice Nation are all heartless.”

The Grounder gave her a coy smile. “People say you Sky People are all pretentious assholes.”

The dark skinned woman nodded considerably. “Most of us are.”

Ontari backed away from Raven, turned and started towards the door to leave. Raven watched her intently, waited for her to speak when she turned halfway around while her hand was on the doorknob. “People say a lot of things about the people of Azgeda that are not true.” She said softly, eyes trained on the floor.

“Yeah, I’m starting to figure that out.” She mumbled back, a tiny smile on her face. Ontari muttered something else that Raven couldn’t understand before she slammed the door shut as she left.

 

* * *

 

Raven roamed the hallways for most of the afternoon the next day. Viktori and Lia had to go into the city for errands. Lia had invited Raven but she declined. Mostly because Viktori looked displeased with her wife’s invite, and slightly because Raven didn’t want to be the third wheel. And also because Lia spent so much time with Raven already; she deserved to spend time with the woman she loved without someone imposing.

She’d just stepped into the lobby of the building when she saw Roan approaching, that smile he reserved just for her decorating his handsome face. _Chill._ She scolded herself, smiled despite the growing butterflies in her stomach. It was odd, the way she was beginning to feel about the Ice King; she thought after Finn she would never get the beautiful nervousness of being around someone she truly liked again. And she thought after Gina she would never experience having her breath taken away by the mere sight of someone she’d grown attached to.

She wouldn’t admit to how she was feeling about Roan, not at the moment, anyway. What they had was good; she didn’t want it to be ruined just yet.

Roan stopped in front of her, gave a little bow and said, “I’m sorry I didn’t come to you last night, My Lady.” But if he kept talking like that and looking at her like that and _fucking bowing_ at her like that then she was going to ruin everything and…

Raven coughed, clearing those thoughts from her mind, shook her head slightly. “It’s fine. Your cousin kept me company.”

The man cocked an unsure eyebrow, asked uneasily, “Ontari was there?”

She nodded. “Yeah, it was a pleasant surprise.”

“Did she threaten you?” He questioned, his voice suddenly a snarl, his eyes slanted.

“No, not really. It’s fine, honestly.” Raven patted his arm, let her fingers linger for more than necessary, withdrew her hand when he noticed. She rocked back on her heels and shrugged “She’s…a very complex woman.”

“That she is.” Roan sighed deeply, then began walking with her down the right hallway. She had no idea where she was going, and she was sure neither did he. But just walking together was nice. “How are the lessons going?” He asked curiously after a few moments of silence.

“Very well, thank you.” She looked up at him, saw that his eyes were trained on her, too.

“It is my pleasure, Lady Raven.”

She ignored the tingling in her stomach. “Where are you coming from?”

“Another meeting.” He muttered tiredly. She’d sat in on many of his meetings—they were enough to give someone a head full of gray hair and make them want to yank all their teeth out. “Where are you headed to?”

“I don’t really know…” She trailed off, wracking her brain for things to do. She’d been all over the city, well, the city inside the gate. It was large, but when a person barely had anything else to do getting through all the shops was fast. She knew if she asked Roan to take her outside the gates that he would, no questions asked, but she didn’t feel like going out into the public today.

She bit her lip, furrowing her brows as she continued to think. But then an idea popped into her head. “Do you have flour and sugar?”

Roan wrinkled his forehead in confusion but nodded anyway. “Down in the kitchen, yes.”

“Chocolate?”

“A fair amount.”

“Eggs?”

“Of course.”

“Perfect.” She switched directions and began towards the kitchen, Roan following after her. The second day she’d been there Lia had given her the full tour of the palace to make sure that she knew where everything was. The kitchen was one of her favorite places, because not only was it huge, it always smelled amazing. And watching the Grounders cook was something like art.

“What are you planning?” The man questioned, though made no attempts to stop her.

She turned back to him and smiled, answered brightly, “I’m going to make a cake.” Cooking was much like science, and while she’d never actually baked before, she was good at math and measuring, so she was sure she could do it. Her mother made the cake for her dozens of times back in space, so she memorized the recipe. It wouldn’t be that hard, she hoped.

“I could get the cooks to do it for you.” He offered.

“No, it’s okay. I need to do something to keep my hands busy. Plus, you’ve never had space cake before.” She gave him a little wink, wished she hadn’t because _who the fuck winks at people anymore?_

“Then I will accompany you.”

“Don’t you have other kingly duties to attend to?” She teased, gabbing him in the side with her elbow.

He smiled down at her, shook his head. “I am free for the rest of the day.”

“Okay, yeah, cool.” She said dumbly, keeping her face turned away as a little blush crept over her cheeks, all the while feeling like a goddamn giddy school kid with their first crush.

She was _not_ that kind of fucking girl. Not even when she _was_ a school kid with her first crush. She never got giddy over Finn, not matter how many butterflies he gave her. She wasn’t giddy with Gina, either, not matter how fuzzed over her brain got when they kissed. But with Roan? She wasn’t even _with him_ and all this shit happened. They hadn’t even _kissed_ and she still got butterflies. She half hated it and half loved it. And another part of her was screaming because… _What about Gina?_

_“Reivon,”_ She blinked several times, willing herself out of her overbearing head. She looked up, saw that Roan was standing a few inches in front of her, a small look of concern on his face. She hadn’t even realized they’d stopped walking. “Are you alright?”

Raven gulped, gave a little nod, looked away from him because _those eyes._ Every time he looked at her she felt as if her insides were on fire. The good kind of fire. The fire that warmed her from the core and spread to her fingertips. It was the kind of fire she never wanted to be put out. “Fine, let’s go.” She sidestepped him and continued towards the kitchen. Roan stepped up beside her, though put a bit more distance between them this time. She bit her tongue to keep from shouting; she hated pushing him away but she didn’t know what the hell else to do.

The alternative scared the shit out of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter has some mega Roan x Raven fluff ;) So be prepared for that.


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